I've been been missing you so much lately. The daffodils have bloomed and gone and the grass in growing tall. Sunday was Easter. Jason brought the kids out to hunt easter eggs, as he always does. It just wasn't the same without you.
It's been raining a lot lately. I miss you more on those days. Maybe because it's gloomy, which is how I feel inside most times.
John's first communion is this Sunday. I know you'll be there watching over him as he makes the first step of this important journey in his spiritual life with our Lord. I think he's excited. He told me Sunday they had already practiced. He's such an intellegent young man and has grown up to be all you would have wanted him to be. He has your compassion and love for life and everything around him. It will be difficult for me to be in that church again. It holds such terrible memories. But I will be there, praying for John, Tyler, Jason and of course you.
We all miss you terribly. My heart breaks a little more each day. I love you so very much. Please pray for us as we do for you, every day.
I miss you, my sweet darling. Watch over us and guide us, if you can. Gotta try to sleep. It doesn't come easy for me. I sleep when I can.
Kisses and hugs for you, sweet heart.
You are loved and missed every second of every day.
Almost your birthday / Beth Steele (momma) Hi sweetie. Christmas has come and gone once again without you. The tree was lit and, like always, I couldn't buy presents till the last minute. I know I need to move on, but my heart won't let me. Once I got the tree up, I couldn't take it down. New Year's Eve was especially difficult for me. When the clock struck midnight, Jason was the first to call and wish me a Happy New Year...it should have been you. It was always you. I cried for quite a while. I just couldn't help it. I miss you so very much. Everything reminds me of you...driving down the road, McDonald's french fries, songs on the radio...you're always there.
Now it's almost the end of February and soon it will be your 28th birthday. I don't know how I'll make it through that day...but I know I will, because I must. Bill's tries his best to make me happy and find things for me to do on "special" days when he thinks I would miss you most. What he doesn't realize is I miss you EVERY day.
I'm going to try and sleep. I'm so very tired. I hope to see you in my dreams as I often do. Be well my baby. I know you're smiling down on us and I know you're happy. Never forget how much you are loved.
Hi sweetie...It's almost Halloween. I've been watching the leaves turn their beautiful colors of yellow, gold and red. I remember when you were little, we would rake the leaves up in a pile and you would run and jump in the leaves, throwing them up in the air laughing. Later, we'd sit and watch the leaves burn at the side of the road, late into the evening until the last ember was burned out. I can still smell them burning. We would talk for hours about nothing. Next week, the boys will be dressing up and coming for treats. Your last Halloween with us, you dressed up as a inmate in a black and white striped prison uniform and wore it to work. Remember?? You had Jason put something black on your jaw line to make you look like you had a "five o'clock shadow." We took pictures of you in your outfit. I ran across them the other day. It made me so very sad. I can't put in to words how much I miss your smile, your laugh, how your hair smelled like raspberries... The way you would always tell me when I hugged you, "hug me tighter, momma. Tighter." And I always did. How you delighted in being able to pick me up and twirl around. You thought it was so funny. I miss that so much. I ache for your touch. Just to hold you one more time and hug you tighter. The holidays are soon approaching and I wonder how I'll be able to get through those months without you to help with the tree lights, hanging the ornaments, baking cookies and decorating the house. Who's going to fight with your brother for the last dinner roll and the left over noodles?? Why can't I find any other words other than to say I miss you with all my heart and soul? It just doesn't seem like enough...those words don't even come close to express the grief I feel. I know you are with our Lord and are an angel now and just knowing that gives me some peace. Sometimes, I feel cheated out of a life time with you. Your life seems like a book, which has had the pages ripped out of it. I love you, Melissa and I always will. Part of my soul left this earth with you the day God took you home. I'll never feel whole till I see you again in heaven. I know you'll be waiting there for me. Save me a seat at the table next to you. We have so much to talk about.
I love you, my darling precious little girl. In my heart, you'll always be my baby. Sweet dreams my little one. Momma will always be praying for you.
You have been on my mind and in my heart so much recently, as you always are, but in a different way. The week before Mother's Day was horrible and I cried almost every day, wondering how I was going to get through another Mother's Day without you. I miss you so much. I couldn't go the cemetary on Mother's Day because of the rain and wind, so your candle is still in the car, waiting for me to light. I'll light it soon....as soon as I am able to face the long drive and heartbreaking walk to the grave site. Seeing your name on the stone breaks my heart. I was so blessed God gave you to me for 24 wonderful years and the memories are beautiful. Thank him for me. I only wish I could get through the grief. You still are, and always be, part of my heart and soul. I can remember the day God took you home as if it were yesterday. I remember pacing back and forth in the kitchen praying to God he wouldn't take you from me now......but inside my heart, I knew the deed was done and.....he did. Why I will never know. What do I do with all this heartache? Where do I "store" the memories of the most beautiful person I've ever known? To know I'll never hear you laugh again, never feel your hugs, never smell you raspberry hair and see the brightness of you blue eyes. It breaks my heart to this very day.
My faith in God is the only thing that gets me through the day. For whatever reason God took you when he did.....I'm sure he had a reason. I suppose he needed a special angel on that day. But, it's something I'll never understand. I know you can see and hear me, Jason and the boys. John and Tyler are getting so big. You'd be so proud of them both. John went to school already knowing how to read, write and do math because of you. He's so smart. Tyler's such a comic. He reminds me much of you. He makes me smile.
I love you so much, sweetie and miss you with such a heavy heart. Rest well, my little darling daughter. Pray for us and check in from time to time. I feel you all around.
i love u melissa / Whitney Wagoner (cousin)Read >>
i love u melissa / Whitney Wagoner (cousin)
melissa.. i have written you many letters since you have passed.. i cant believe it has been over two years... i remember the last thing you said to me... "Whitney Lynn.. i cant believe u got another tatoo"! haha.. i will never get that sentence out of my head.. then we laughed and ate lunch at grandmas.. me and u always had the best talks at grandmas. mostly of you being mad at me.. and i miss that. i miss ur laugh.. the same one that i have.. people tell me all the time that my laugh is EXACTLY like yours.... i will tell u without hesitation that you were the only cousin that understood me.. and i still have your copy of the goonies.. remember when me and wyllie took it to watch:) i know that you are with god now, and he is taking good care of you.. i know that u are watchin over me and ur mom dad jason and the boys.. they love u soo very much and so do i.. my dad got out the tape of wyllies confirmation the other day and i saw you on it.. and i couldnt hold back my tears... but anyways.. take care of grandpa john up there and i will see u soon enough.. i love u meliss.. i miss u so very much.. be good and look in on me from time to time.... LOVE Whitney Close
Happy New Years my sweet baby girl........... / Beth Steele (momma)Read >>
Happy New Years my sweet baby girl........... / Beth Steele (momma)
Hi sweetie, John and I are sitting here waiting for the ball to drop and for you to call and wish me a Happy New Year. I know the ball will drop another year without a call from you. I miss you so much sometimes I'm paralized with grief. I guess I just haven't figured out how to go on?? You should have been at my house baking cookies and wrapping Christmas presents...........not on the road. What if?? What if?
Happy New Year my precious baby girl. I love you so much.
It's fall.....again......--... / Beth Steele (momma)
Hi Sweetie, It's fall again, or at least that's what it says on the calendar. It's still very warm. I still remember your jeep not having airconditioning and how much you would complain. You never got it fixed......I think you just liked complaining about it.
It won't be long before the trees begin to make their yearly color turning. I miss how we would pile them up and jump in them when you were little. So many memories.....so little time. I miss you so much, my sweet little one. I can hear you say that you were all grown up.......but you were and always will be, my baby. I love you without knowing how, or when or where......because I know of no other way than this. You have a part of my heart.....taken forever when you left us here without you. I know God must have some glorious things for you to do there.....but I must say, I'm so jealous.....I need you here. I miss hearing your voice on the phone, a kiss good night, the long, tight hugs when you would pick me up. I just miss you. Sleep well, my darling. I hold you forever deep in my soul. love you, momma Close
My sweet baby....... / Beth Steele (momma)
Hi Sweetie. I'm sure you know how busy I've been with the new business and all. But not a minute of any day goes by without you on my mind. I passed by a very bad accident yesterday on highway 50. There were so many police cars with their lights on, EMS personnel everywhere. The whole scene was so overwhelming to me I just sat there in the traffic by myself and cried. It must have been similar to the scene of your accident. I kept wondering, whose lives were changed forever in an instant this time....just like mine was the day of your accident??? I know how they feel. My heart aches for them.
I went to see Willie's mom the other day. I don't know her well, but I was so sad for her when I heard that Willie had been killed in a motorcyle accident. I'm sure you remember him...he went to school with you. Someone pulled out in front of him on the cycle. I think his mom was glad I came. I took her an ornament, just like the one Patty got me when you had your accident. Even though I didn't know his mother well, something kept telling me I should visit her. She's doing the best she could, but I could tell she was not handling things yet. I don't think it has really sunk in that Willie will never again come home. It's still difficult today for me to remember that your not coming home to me. I remember those terrible days after your accident and how difficult it was for me....for all of us. We love you so very much. I miss you more and more everyday. You're my baby. You'll always be.
I sold the house and we'll be closing soon. I have to go in and box some more things up, but hope to close on the house very soon. I'll be glad. I can't be in that house without you. It's just not the same. I see you everywhere and feel you in the house. I can't help but feel you could come around the corner any time and tell me it was all a dream, a terrible dream, and you were home. I can feel how you would hug me when you saw me crying.
Scott and I have been talking of going to the mission in Mexico and donating money for a part of the school in your memory. You loved that place so much. And, I'm sure they need the space. I also wanted to meet Sister Fatima...you were so close to her. She must be a very special person.
I must be getting to bed. I'm really tired. You would be so proud of the cemetary stone and decorations in green and purple...your favorite colors. I know you are safe in the arms of our Lord and miss us too. I just get so lonely without you. I miss your laugh and silly every day things we did together.
Love you so much. Hugs and kisses to you. I love you, baby and would give anything to have you back....but I know that's not possible. I still struggle with the "why" of it all. I suppose I always will.
Hi Sweetie, By now, I'm sure you joined up with grandma. She came to be with you on Sunday, June 10th. She was so tired and sick and was ready to go home to be with her Lord. I can only imagine what a reunion that must have been....now you have grandma, grandpa and Great-grandma there with you as well as granpa Wagoner. Please tell them all I miss them so very much. I know they know, but remind them anyway. Jen came to grandma's funeral and she was in tears before she left. She said she still can't go through McDonald's. I can't either.
Melissa, there's not a day goes by that I don't think about you and miss you terribly. I would trade my life in an instant. I don't understand why God chose to take you and not me. I've prayed that so many times. I was over at the house Saturday getting ready to sell it. Jason was there for a while and when we opened the closet, we found you choir dress and shoes in the same place they always were. You looked so beautiful in the dress and your voice was wonderful. I could almost hear you singing. I also have your cap and gown from graduation....with you honors tassels hangnig over the gown, just where they should be.
I'm so proud of the young woman you had grown to become. I just can't understand why you had to leave so soon. I miss you so very much.
Sleep well, my darling little girl. My heart aches for the touch of your hand and the smell of your hair. You were always MY hero. I hope I can do as much with the rest of my life as you did in your short time here with us.
Pray for us to God We try our best to do what's right. Sometimes we make mistakes. We can only hope we learn from the mistakes we make.
Missing you at Christmas / Beth Steele (momma)
I finally put up a tree and am going to try to buy some gifts...mostly for the boys. I just can't seem to get into the Christmas spirit without you here, not when my heart is breaking everytime I look at the tree lights. Remember when we would go shopping all day and have lunch? We had so much fun. Who's going to help me with the cookies and who'll play "santa" with the gifts? And...who'll say grace at the meal when we eat? We all miss you terribly. Jason doesn't talk about it much. I know it hurts him so and he carries that hurt deep inside. Scott and I went to the cemetary and lit a candle on Wednesday night. I went there tonight and the candel is still burning. The outside casing of the candle holder is purple. You would love the color. The flame burns so brightly...just like your smile could light up a room. I miss holding you, the softness of your skin and the smell of your hair. Everything about life reminds me of you. I still can't listen to Christmas music...maybe I will in time.
Scott and I are trying to get moved into the new house. I know you would love it. I just couldn't stay in the other house anymore. There were too many memories. Especially at night. It just seemed like the walls were closing in on me. I knew you would understand.
I know you are happy and I can only imagine the wonderful light of God and the peace you must feel. Pray for us as we pray for you. You're always in my heart and on my mind. I don't think there's a day that doesn't go by that someone doesn't ask about you. I'm going to try to go to bed. Sleep doesn't come easy for me and I have to get it when I can...mostly just a little here and there.
Say hello to grandpa and grandma for me and give them a kiss. Tell them I miss them too. I can't wait to see you all again.
Hi sweetie. It's momma. It's early in the morning hours and I woke up crying. I was dreaming about you decorating the Christmas tree. What trials we went through to get the lights on the tree to all come on at the same time and they never did work. We had to get extra lights for the middle part of the tree so we could decorate it. I threw the tree away. I just couldn't stand to look at it another minute. I know you already know, but I wanted to write to you and tell you Scott and I got married. I love him so much and he makes me so very happy. We bought a new house. You would love it. It's out in the woods with lots of room to roam. I think about you so much in this house and just couldn't take it any more. Youre everywhere I looked. This is so very hard to do. I never imagined I would ever lose you. You had so much to do in your life, so many things to see, so many things to do, so many places to travel. And......so very much to give. The greatest gift you gave, was yourself. Your heart was so full of love for everyone, even if you didn't know them. Sometimes I feel like I can't go on another day, but I know you would want me to and I feel like I need to do it for the boys and Jason. They miss you so much. Tyler's getting so big and has even decided he can go in the big potty now. John is mid-way through his first year in Kindergarden. He's so smart. You taught him how to read and now we can't stop him. They're both getting so big. Scott misses you too. He doesn't say much unless I bring it up, but I know where his heart is and you're on his mind so much. I know he misses the talks you used to have and playing cards. He's not much for telling his feelings....but I know how he feels.
I just don't understand the why of it all. Where did my little girl go? I find comfort in knowing you knew how much I loved you. And...I knew you loved me too. But somehow, even that makes it harder to bear. You have a beautiful new stone at the cemetary. It hurts my heart so to visit, but I go many times a week. Not for too long, just so you'll know I've been there. I keep trying to find a way to get closer to you, but there I can't seem to get there. I wish there were someway you could tell me you're happy....up there in heaven with all the angels. I can only image.........remember that song? You loved it and couldn't wait for me to listen to it when it came out. I imagine you now in the presence of God and how wonderful it must be.
I miss you more than words can say. There just aren't any words to speak to express my loss and the vacancy in my heart, soul and life without you. You took a piece of my heart when you left that will never be filled. I love you, my darling baby girl. I hope you've found peace in the loving arms of our Lord. Pray for us here as we pray for you. Tell Grandpa and Grandma we send our love and miss them too. I'm sure they were there to greet you when you got there. You're in my heart forever.
Regret/ David Steele (Uncle)
In my attempt to formulate my feelings about Melissa for this site, I came face to face with regret with every memory. I regret that I was stern with her when I discovered that she was so open with her identity online. I was trying to protect her, but I didn't recognize her open nature to the world. I regret that when she was a baby and her shyness prevented her from being close to other people she didn't see constantly, I pulled away and didn't pursue a closer relationship with her. When visiting Loogootee, I regret not seeing her as a young woman trying to find her way in the world. In the end, though, I do not regret the last time I saw her. We laughed together and we connected on a deep level. I think she knew I loved her and I will forever miss her. Close
Little sis / Jason Wagoner (Brother)
How can you express the love you have for someone? I can honestly say that no matter what happens in this world, never go a day without making sure the people you care about, know you care about them. Melissa was one of the most unselfish people you could ever meet. Although she liked to complain about a lot of things, in the end she never really cared about the little things in life. She was one to make sure that people knew how she felt about them. and I think everyone could learn from that. Even though she graduated from college with a degree in education and didn't use it, she made sure that two of her most favorite people in the whole world were as educated as they could be for their age. And who could think of a better way to travel to the promise land than in the company of the two people she cared the most about (her two nephews). Although she is not present on this earth any longer, there is nothing that you can do where you don't feel her heart and soul. She will live on forever and we will be that much better for knowing her. Good night Squeeky, may your travels find you in places we could only dream of. I love you baby. Close
The love between a mother and daughter / Londa Theriac (Friend of her mother )Read >>
The love between a mother and daughter / Londa Theriac (Friend of her mother )
The love between a mother and daughter is a love that can't be described. Not every woman has the gift of having a daughter. So, when God gives us that special gift and then takes it from us, part of us dies also.
I met Melissa at a funeral. She was sitting on the couch. She was so sweet and polite. She was playing with Tyler and John. I had never met her before but knew so much about her. It seems that everytime I talked to her mother, Beth, Melissa came up in conversation. When Beth spoke of her it was so special and you could feel the love she had for her. Several times Beth would say "Melissa is going to take mom a sandwich for me" or "Melissa is coming over for dinner" Melissa and Beth had a relationship that any mother would envy. I never thought of them as mother and daughter but as best friends.
There are no words to ease the pain of the loss of Sweet Melissa. She made an impact on everyone she met in her short time on this earth, more than most people accomplish in a lifetime.
We should celebrate her life
I feel honored to express my thoughts about such a wonderful woman.
Beth, You are a wonderful strong beautiful woman and Melissa was proud to call you her mother. Love Always. Londa
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